Title: A Time to Heal: Comfort 2
Pairing: Jim/Blair, Steven/Michael, Rafe/Lee, (preslash) William/Daniel (slash)
Summary: Is it possible to come to terms when someone you love is hurt?
Beta: By my sister Anna. All remaining errors are mine-with apologies.
A Time to Heal: Comfort 2
Jim had been awake for a while. Not really sure how much time had passed. He felt rested if that was any indication.
Now he lay on the bed with Steven comfortably in his arms. Feeling-not really sure how he was feeling.
Eyes closed so he could heighten his senses, he ran his hands over his sleeping brother’s back. Feeling where the breaks in the ribs were. Where the skin was knitting back together with the help of the stitches.
If he concentrated hard enough he could see where the cells were actually coming back together. It was kinda cool. Would be if it wasn’t his brother who’d been hurt.
He sighed unhappily. Knowing that Steven was so going to kick his ass when he was up and around. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but he was in an odd sort of way because it meant his beloved brother was all better.
He loved Steven more than he could ever express. As much as he loved Blair if in a different way.
He’d waited impatiently for his birth. When the nurse had come up to the window showing them this red little face. Little mouth opened wide screaming his head off, Jim had smiled.
It was way different from when he’d rested his head against his Mom’s belly, listening to the distant heartbeat. Knowing there was someone in there. His Mom had smiled down at him, gently stroking his head as it rested against her tummy. Listening to him talking, sometimes singing to his soon to be baby brother or sister.
There was a real little person that belonged to that heartbeat. A little brother. Jim had been lost in the wonder of it all. It had been so cool.
Instantly losing his heart to the tiny bundle known as his brother, when Steven had calmed under his touch and smiled. Actually smiled up at him, that was when he knew he was truly lost.
His baby brother. His. Baby. Brother. From then on he’d help with the feeding, the changings. That, he wasn’t to happy with. Stevie could be one smelly little dude. He hadn’t even minded when Steven had become old enough to eat solid food and had sprayed him with smashed green peas.
Steven had looked at him as if expecting a scolding as Jim wiped away the peas with a paper towel. Eyes real wide, his tiny little mouth a silent little ‘o’. When Jim started laughing, Steven joined in, giggling happily. Offering him a spoonful of peas as a peace offering as if the peas he wore all over his face wasn’t enough.
Jim had no qualms about the fact Steven had him wrapped around the fingers of both hands and for good measure you could add his toes as well.
Jim didn’t mind. Truly he didn’t. He loved Steven with everything he had in him and then some. His brother might make him batty sometimes, but that came with the territory.
Steven would do anything for him and that included giving his life up for his brother. Jim felt his eyes fill with tears. That was something he would not allow. Not ever.
Steven knew that Blair was essential to Jim’s life. Without Blair-Jim had no life. He would die a slow painful death. Thus the whole problem.
His brother had done what he thought he had to-to make sure Blair was safe. Truthfully that wasn’t the only reason Steven had done what he’d done to kept Blair and Lee safe. Steven loved Blair and Lee. For themselves and not only for the fact that they were essential to their Sentinels life.
Jim watched Steven and Blair together. Saw the adoring way Steven looked at his little Guide. Steven’s heart has been lost to Blair. Even if Blair hadn’t been Jim’s Guide, Steven would do whatever it took to keep the little boy happy. If Steven had Jim wrapped around all his extremities so Steven was with Blair. Poetic justice or what?
Jim was wondering why he wasn’t jealous. By all rights he should be. Of whom he had no idea, though. Of Steven? Of Blair?
He needed them both. For different reasons to be sure, but he needed them in his life. It irked him no end that Steven seemed to act as if his life was less important than his or Blair’s. And that just wasn’t the case. Steven was important. Very important, just as important to Jim’s well-being as Blair was.
He continued to quietly map the injuries to Steven’s back and buttocks. Knowing if Steven were awake he’s been making some snide comment about the liberties Jim was taking with his person. But by the time he was done Jim planned to know ever inch of where the damage had been wrought by that fucking earthquake. He growled softly, not wanting to wake Steven.
If he could and there was something substantial, he would hit whoever was responsible for causing the quake. And hit them hard for hurting his brother. For hurting his whole family. He growled again, just a little louder. Suddenly he stopped turning his head to the side.
“Hi, Baby. Wanna lay down with us?”
Blair looked at him, head tilted to the side as he contemplated them. “In little bit. Stevie be mad if he knows you touch him like dat.”
Jim’s hands fell away from Steven’s buttocks. “I w…was just…”
“I knows what yous do. It okay. Stevie my broder, too.”
Jim sighed softly. “What am I going to do, Blair? Stevie won’t listen to me.”
Blair climbed up onto the bed. “Stevie listen. He always listen to you.”
“Then why won’t he do what I ask him?”
The little Guide laid a gentle hand on Steven’s back. “Cause he knows what he has to dos.”
“He could get hurt worse than he did with the earthquake. He could even die the next time and he doesn’t seem to care.”
Jim’s hands came back up to wrap around his brother’s body carefully. “He doesn’t show it.”
“He care. He always care.”
“I don’t want him hurt.”
“I knows,” Blair replied softly.
“What are we going to do?”
“We protect. We protect da way he protect us.”
Jim looked at Blair hopefully. “Can we do that?”
Blair gave his a brilliant smile. “You knows when it time.”
Jim frowned. “That’s not an answer.”
“It is. You be to impatient. No be that way.”
Jim sighed unhappily. “You’re as bad as Steven.”
If anything Blair’s smile became more luminous. “Dat because Stevie my broder.”
Jim returned the smile. “That’s true. I love you, Baby.”
Blair gently touched his nose with his forefinger. “I knows. I love you.”
“I love Stevie, too.”
“Is that wrong?”
Blair shook his head. “Nopes. Der nothing wrong wiff love.”
“He says that I’m to controlling. To obsessive. Am I?” Jim asked, unable to keep the vulnerability from his voice.
“Sometimes.” Jim made a tiny wounded sound. “Shh, it be alright. It not dat bad. You good. You love berry much is all.”
Jim looked into his little Guide beautiful blue eyes. “Is that bad? Steven’s acting like it’s a bad thing,” he whispered hoarsely, allowing Blair to see all the hurt he was feeling.
“Not bad.” Blair curled himself around his Sentinel and Steven. “He you broder. No one else in da world like Stevie.”
“That’s for sure.”
Blair smiled at Jim, moving close enough to touch noses. “You protect. You love. I tink dat berry good thing.”
“You’re my brother and so is Lee, but I don’t feel for you or Lee what I do for Steven. It’s still there though, the possessiveness and the controlling thing,” Jim replied, nuzzling back.
“Stevie blood. You luvs me. You luvs Lee, but different. Not wrong.”
“You’re not jealous?”
Blair pulled away slightly. “Why be jealous? You luvs me.”
Jim sighed heavily. “I’m so confused.”
“I knows. It gets better.” Blair kissed his nose. “No be confused. Jim have big heart. Have much room to luvs all of us and many more.”
“But then I get to possessive and controlling. Steven hates that. What do I do? Try and love less?”
Blair shook his head sending curls all over his face. “No. That be bad thing.”
Jim sighed again. “What do I do then?”
Blair began releasing a tiny amount of scent. “Control. Know possessive. Know controlling. No let it get in way.”
Jim breathed in the scent allowing it to ease the tension he’d been feeling. “Control it?”
“What do you think Stevie? Will that work for you?”
Steven looked up. “How long have you known I’ve been awake?”
Jim rolled his eyes. “Sentinel here.”
Steven gave him a sheepish smile. “Oops.”
“Oops, my buns. Does that work for you? I’ll try and control it. And not try and suffocate everyone I love.”
“As long as you don’t blow a gasket, trying to do it.”
“What does that mean?”
Steven raised himself up a bit to look into his brother’s eyes. “It’s going to be really hard for you. It might be to much.”
“What do I do then?” Jim asked, disheartened.
“I’m not saying you can’t do it. You could get Daniel to help you with that weird ass chanting he does. That might help to center you so that you can control some of your emotions.”
“Think that’d work?”
“Don’t see why not. What do you think, Blair?”
Blair nodded. “Yups. Chant.”
“Okay. I’ll talk to him first chance I get. I’m sorry, Stevie.”
Steven frowned. “For what? Loving me? Don’t ever be ashamed about that? The rest of it we’ll work on. I don’t need for you to completely let me go. Let go just a little so I can breathe. And besides I’ll never be that far from you. Not ever.”
“I’m still going to do everything in my power to keep you from getting hurt.”
Steven smiled at him. “I wouldn’t expect anything else, Watchman. Just remember not to let it get in the way of your job.”
“Fuck the job. You come first.”
Steven’s eyes widened in shock. He turned toward Blair. “Did you hear that? Jim cussed.”
Blair’s face was tilted to the side as he listened quietly. “I hear,” That was all he said.
“Aren’t you going to tell him anything?’
“No have to.”
Steven looked at Blair. “Huh?”
“I ‘grees. Stevie no get hurt like dis,” he waved a tiny hand over Steven’s body. “Ebber ‘gain.”
“Yes,” Jim replied happily, giving Blair a brilliant smile.
Steven frowned. “What? Are you two ganging up on me?”
Blair smiled at him. “Yups.”
“Oh,” Steven looked up at a beaming Jim. “Think you won?”
“Oh, I know it.”
Jim gleefully pulled the sullen Steven closer. “No one goes against Blair. Not ever. What he says goes.”
“He’s a baby? Ow!” Steven said, when a tiny fist gently bobbed him on the head.
“No baby. I four.”
“Sorry,” Steven replied, contritely. “I can’t believe you two are ganging up on me.”
Blair caressed the top of Steven’s head. Soothing away the small hurt. “Luvs you.”
“I know. I’ve always know. It’s one of those things that no matter what goes wrong your love and Jimmy’s will always be there. I can be the biggest asshole in the world and when everyone hates me because of it, your love is there.”
“No one will ever hate you, Stevie. You’re unique to the galaxy.”
“I have a big mouth.”
“I say what I mean and that can hurt people’s feelings.”
Jim smiled at his brother. “You’ve never hurt anyone’s feelings that badly. Everyone knows most of the stuff you say is out of love.”
“Most of it?”
“Well there is the occasional snide comment about being a stupid Sentinel. I wouldn’t frown on that if you decided not to do it as much.”
Steven got a mischievous look in his eyes. “Why would I do that? You and Rafe ‘are’ stupid Sentinels.”
“Sentinel’s aren’t stupid. I’ll have you know.”
“Just really slow and dense. At times to caught up in their own little world to give a damn about what goes on outside of it.”
Jim met his brother’s eyes. “Do you truly believe that?” he asked solemnly.
“Na. Sentinel’s have a finely tuned sense of everything. They can get lost in all sorts of stupid stuff if they’re not careful. Like a box of crayons. Like Rafe did last week. Or the chips in the chocolate chip cookies Sally made two days ago.”
“That was me.” Jim whispered softly. “I got so caught up in following how the chocolate meshed with the cookie I forgot everything else.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s okay. Blair brought you out of it just fine. But it’s those types of things that we need to be aware of. Always vigilant. You have a good heart I never, ever meant to say you didn’t and you’re not all that dense or slow. You just get caught up in things and forget yourself. I never realized my words hurt you so much. I won’t do it any more,” he said sorrowfully, eyes filling with tears. “I’m sorry.”
“Steven?” Jim gently wiped the tears with his thumbs. “I don’t want you to ever change. Insult me all you want. If it ever bothers me, I’ll tell you or I’ll kick your ass. Don’t go changing on my account.”
Steven sniffed. “Really?”
“You’re starting to feel pain again aren’t you? You’re usually not this emotional.”
Jim watched in horror as his brother’s bottom lip began to tremble. “I’m always emotional. I’m a sensitive type.” Steven turned toward the little Guide. “Don’t you think I’m a very sensitive guy, Blair?”
Blair regarded Steven with a small frown. “
Steven sniffed again. “Thank you. See?” he told Jim, bottom lip trembling even more.
“I see. Blair’s right you are very, very sensitive. But you’re starting to feel pain again. I can feel you tightening up.”
“Yeah, maybe a little,” Steven replied, reluctantly. Burying his face against the side of Jim’s neck.
The young Sentinel turned to look at Blair. “Help him, Baby. Please. He’s starting to really hurt,” he pleaded softly. “I can feel it.”
The tiny Guide placed his hand against Steven’s back. Jim could feel instantly when the pain Steven was in began easing.
“Thank you, Baby.”
Jim smiled at him. “You are the bestest Guide in the whole wide world.”
Blair returned it. “I knows.”
“And so modest too,” Steven said, turning his head to look at Blair. “Thank you, little brother.”
“I ‘elp. I always ‘elp.”
“I love you, Blair. And it’s not just cause you’ve got a way with you that beats the best pain killers in the world.”
“I luvs you, too and you berry welcome.”
Steven smiled at him, lifting the blankets. “Wanna take a nap with us?”
Blair nodded, crawling under the covers. Trying to wrap his tiny arms around as much of Jim and Steven as he could.
When Blair was settled Steven turned to down at Jim. “You can go back to molesting me if you want?”
Jim felt his face flame. “I…I w…wasn’t.”
Steven smiled at him. “I know you weren’t, Watchman. I’m pullin’ your chain. I know what you were doing and why. Go back to doing it. I’m not going to say anything.”
“Really?” Jim asked in disbelief
Steven rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it. Do what you have to-to get over the earthquake. If you have to do it thirty, forty times a day, go for it. I’m not going to stop you. I’ll even hold still while you do it.”
Jim felt his eyes fill with tears. “You’re the best brother in the whole world.”
“Now don’t go getting all emotional,” Steven tisked. “I’m just doing whatever it takes to make my brother feel better. That’s all.”
“And I’m really, really grateful.”
“You don’t have to be grateful. Know why?” Steven asked, resting his head against Jim’s shoulder sleepily.
“You’re my brother and I love you a hell of a lot and always will.”