Title: Beginning Anew
Author: Angelee
Fandoms: CSI-Miami/ and another to be announced in part two
Pairing: Tim Speedle/ (see above)
Summary: Does dead really mean dead?
Beta: By my sister Anna. All remaining errors are mine-with apologies.
Note: I began watching CSI-Miami back in November when my
sister Anna and I went to
Note 2: Yes, I know Tim Speedle dies, but since when have I let that stop me? (o:
Beginning Anew
“Easy. Easy. Everything is fine. Deep breaths. Slow and easy.”
Tim opened his eyes taking deep shaky breaths. To see the most beautiful women he’d ever seen in his life starting down at him. Concern showing clearly in her bright blue eyes.
“W…Where am I?”
“Summerland.”
“W…What?”
She gave him a gentle understanding smile. “You’re in Summerland. The place you go while waiting to be reborn again.”
“I…I died.”
She nodded her blond head. “Yes.”
“It hurt. It really, really hurt.”
A gentle hand caressed his sweat soaked forehead. “I know it did. But you’re safe now. Nothing can hurt you here.”
He moved his face into the gentle touch. It really helped. “I’m not Pagan.”
A soft chuckle. “You don’t have to be, sweetheart. Someone down there wished you here, for safe keeping. So here you are.”
“H? Did H wish me here?”
“Yes. Are you feeling better?”
Tim felt his chest where the bullet had torn through his flesh. Fighting back the waves of fear and pain. As if he had gotten shot all over again.
“Easy. Easy. Push it away. Push it away. You’re alright. You’re alright.”
“Hurts. Oh, God it hurts so bad.”
“Residual pain. You’re going to be feeling it for some time.”
Tim gasped. “Oh, God.”
“I know it hurts, breath through it. Everything is going to be alright.”
Before Tim could comment he passed out.
***
He woke slowly. Not sure if he wanted to wake or not. Deciding for good or bad he needed to deal. He opened his eyes carefully to see the beautiful blond lady staring down at him. A smile on her face.
“Awake?”
“I guess.”
“Good. Would you like a tour of the place you’ll be at for a while? Or at least until you decide you want to give being human another try.”
Tim sat up from-what he finally noticed was a bed. Taking interest in his surrounding. It looked like a regular bedroom. Made up of bright blues and greens.
She took notice. “What, were you expecting everything to be white?” she asked with a smile.
“Well, no not really. Okay, yeah-I was.”
“Most people do,” She replied helping him sit up. “My name is Melinda by the way.”
“Nice it met you, Melinda. My name is…”
“Tim Speedle. Yes, I know. Come, I’m going to introduce you to your mentor. He’ll be responsible for you until you decide what it is you want to do.”
“What if I decide I want to stay here?”
“You can. We’ve had individuals who have been with us for millenniums. No one is forced to return if they do not wish it.” Tim was led down a wide corridor, down some stairs into a study.
He looked around curiously. “Why are we here?”
“We’re waiting for you mentor. He’ll be here any second.”
“This place looks like it could be home.”
Melinda nodded. “Yes. It makes the adjustment a little easier for many.”
“How do you go about being reborn or whatever it is you call it? You know when your ready to try again.”
“There’s a place here in Summerland where you go. A building, if you will. You simply walk in.”
Tim looked at her curiously. “What if you die when you’re a baby or to screwed up to walk in?”
“Those individuals will automatically be reborn.”
“They don’t get a choice?”
Melinda gave him a sad smile. “I’m afraid not. It is the way of things. They will continue to be reborn until they reach a point where they’re able to make a choice.”
Tim nodded, running his finger through his tangled hair. “I guess that makes sense.” He sighed softly. “Can I asked you about …”
“Your friend? The one who had the snowmobile accident?”
“Yes. He is here?”
Melinda closed her eyes for a moment. “No. He chose to be reborn four years ago. He is happy and healthy,” she replied, opening her eyes.
“Cool.”
“Yes.”
Suddenly someone came rushing through the door. “Sorry I’m late. One of my mentees decided she was ready to try anew. I wanted to be there to say bye.”
Tim turned his head to look at the new arrival. If he thought Melinda was beautiful, the guy that just walking in was downright gorgeous and then some.
“I’m glad you’re here. Tim is about to crash and burn.” Melinda told him quietly. “The tour can wait until later.”
The man looked at him with assessing green eyes framed by really dark lashes. “You’re right. I’ll take him back to his room.” He offered his hand. “Take my hand, Tim.”
Tim took it, uncomplainingly. He was starting to feel a little odd. As if he were hearing everything from a deep tunnel. Not to mention his vision was starting to blur.
Melinda watched them leave worriedly.
The man led him into the bathroom. Reaching over he turned the taps. Once it began to fill he turned toward Tim.
“Let’s get you out of those bloody clothes and into the tub.” Tim held still as his shirt was removed and unceremoniously tossed across the room. “Damn, you bled a hell of a lot more than I did, when I died.” His shoes, socks, pants and boxers went the way of the shirt. “Into the tub, Timmy.”
Tim docilely did as he was bid. Not commenting when his hair was washed with some really nice smelling shampoo. When the man picked up the washcloth laying on the tub and rubbed a bar of soap over it, he watched curiously. Watching as the dried blood was gently scrubbed from his chest. There was no big, painfully bleeding hole. It was completely and totally sealed.
He held still as the blood that had come from his nose was gently scrubbed away. Once the blood was cleared away the man’s touch seemed to become more sensual. Almost loving.
When the hands headed toward his groin. “At last check, I wasn’t gay,” He said, but not stopping the hands.
The man gave him a tiny smile. “That’s good, because I’m not doing anything remotely gay. If I do, you’ll know-do something even remotely gayee-you’ll most certainly know.”
Tim returned the smile. Something he hadn’t done since coming here. “Good to know. And is gayee even a word?”
“Is now.”
“Oh, okay,” Tim replied, hazily.
The man frowned. “Oh, man you’re about to crash and burn spectacularly. Let’s get you out of the tub.”
Tim complied, needing help getting out. The strength leaving his bones. And he was starting to tremble.
“I feel funny,” he said, unable to keep his teeth from chattering.
“Reaction. Everyone who dies violently goes through this,” the man told him wrapping him in a large towel. “I threw up for two days. Thought my toes were going to come out my throat.”
“Y…Yuck.”
“I’d say,” the man replied, wrapping another towel around Tim’s waist. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
“That’s a really nice offer, but I’m still not gay.”
Green eyes twinkled at him. “Aw, not even for me?”
Tim got underneath the covers, burrowing till all that was visible were his eyes. “Well maybe. You are kinda pretty.”
The man began removing his own clothing. “Only kinda?”
“Okay, maybe lots. What the fuck are you doing?”
“Taking off my clothes. I’m going to be getting in the bed with you.”
“Not gay.”
The green eyes rolled. “God, you sound like a broken record.” He lifted the covers, having to fight Tim for them. “Let go. You’re going to need me. More than you know. It’s going to be bad. Really, really bad.” He replied, pulling Tim toward him. Who startled at the contact of a very warm, very naked, very male body up against him.
“Real sure about your charms, aren’t you?”
“Hmm, hmm. Comfortable?”
Tim was sort of. “I guess. For being in bed with another naked male.”
“Put your arms around me. Let’s see if we can half way control your melt down so it doesn’t get to bad.”
Tim did, not realizing that the trembling had gotten so bad he was actually moving the bed. “Oh, God.”
“Easy. Easy.”
“Can’t. I feel like I’m starting to come apart at the seams.”
Strong arms wrapped tighter around him. “I know. I’ve been through this as well.”
Tim maneuvered himself until he was underneath the other man. Trying to leech as much of his warmth as he possibly could.
“Cold. So cold.”
“I know you are, Timmy. I wish there was someway to help ease this for you,” The man told him unhappily.
“I’m dead.”
“Yes.”
“Really, really dead.”
The arms tightened around him. “Yes.”
“Oh, god. My mom and Dad. My brother,” Tim felt his eyes fill with tears.
“I know. I know,” the man rested his forehead against Tim’s. “You got a real nice police funeral.”
“Yeah?”
“Hmm. Wrap your legs around my waist.”
“Not gay,” Tim whispered, doing as he was told anyway.
“I know. Believe me, I know. You’ve mentioned it more times than I can count. Are you better?”
“Yeah, not as cold.”
“All I got was a cremation. My ashes spread out in some park. No one mourned my passing.”
Tim’s arms came up to pull the man closer. God, he was giving off heat like a living furnace and right now he desperately needed that.
“I’m sorry.”
His nose was nuzzled gently. “Don’t be. It was no more than I deserved.”
Tim nuzzled back. “You were bad?”
“Oh, yeah. Bad doesn’t come close to describing what I was.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I did things to survive and guess where I ended up?”
Tim gasped softly as a violent chill took hold, almost lifting the man blanketing him. “Oh, God. It doesn’t seem so bad here.”
“No, here is nice. Really nice. They understand me and why I did why I did. I’m not judged.”
“W…why haven’t you gone to be reborn?”
The man gently stroked his hair. “I like it here. And they let me help some of the worst cases that come through. Sort of a way to make up for all the bad things I did. Plus being reborn holds no interest for me. You never know what kind of situation you’re going to end up in.”
“That’s true. But you don’t really remember being here do you.”
Tim felt the man more than saw him shrug. “I don’t know. You might way deep down.”
“Hmm, you’re really warm.”
The man chuckled. “Not gay, much?”
Tim glared up at him. “Ass. Kick me when I’m down.”
He got a kiss on the nose for his trouble. “I won’t take that glare to heart. I read your file so I know you’re a grump.”
“I’m not a grump. I’m moody.”
“Yeah, right.” He was told in disbelief. “That’s why you spent all your time with your nose buried in a book instead of some girl’s pu…”
“Don’t you dare go there.”
“How many times did you get laid while you were down there?”
Tim turned his face. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
A gentle finger on his chin turned his face back toward the man looking at him with gentle affection.
“It’s alright. We’ll see about taking care of that problem while you’re here.”
Tim’s eyes widened. “Can you do that here?”
“Course you can. As many times as you like. With whoever you like. As long as you don’t hurt anyone. That tends to make the higher ups mad.”
“And who are you planning on having solve my so called problem?”
Green eyes met his. “If you actually think I’m gonna let anyone within a foot of you, you’re sorely mistaken.”
“You? I told you I’m not gay.”
Warm lips nuzzled his. “Oh, I think I can change that for you. Besides how the fuck do you know you’re not gay if you’ve never been laid?”
Tim nuzzled back. “Asshole. I’ve been laid.”
“You copped a feel back in college. That hardly counts. And then there was Kelly. You worked with the most beautiful women in
“She was my friend.”
“Friends fuck.”
Tim glared up at him again. “Wanna watch you language?”
“No,” came the reply from somewhere near his neck.
Tim buried his fingers in the softest hair he’d ever felt in his life, tugging the man’s face up to met his eyes.
“Who are you anyway?”
He got a small smile. “We’ll talk about that later. For now sleep.”
“But I’m not sleepy.”
“Yes, you are. Close your eyes. I think we’ve waylaid the worse the reaction, but you still need to rest. Close those big, beautiful brown eyes of yours and tomorrow we’ll talk about me laying you.”
Tim snorted. “Yeah, right. Not gay,” he replied, doing as he was told. Finding that he really was suddenly really tired. Dying must take a lot of energy, he thought hazily as he drifted off.