Author:  Angelee

Title:  Deceptions

Date:  December 2, 2005

Fandom:  Stargate Atlantis

Rating:  Adult

Challenge:  One of you characters is allergic to something specific to the holiday they’re celebrating-eggnog, mulled wine, chocolate or whatever.  What happens?

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Advertisement:  Part of the SAC-2005 at:  http://www;

Beta:  By my sister Anna:  All remaining errors are mine-with apologies.





“Oh, Rodney.”


The scientist looked over at John Sheppard.  His eyebrows almost disappeared into his hairline when he saw the look the pilot was giving him.


“Hmm.  Yes, Colonel?”  he asked, uneasily.


“This mulled wine is good shit, isn’t it?”


“Hmm, I don’t really know.  I’m not a drinker.  I never have been.”


John went over to where Rodney stood.  “Great party, huh?”


“Yes, I guess so.”


The pilot frowned.  “Don’t you know?”


“I’m not much of a party animal, Colonel.”


“But it’s Christmas Eve.  You gotta live a little.”


Rodney frowned when he saw Sheppard sway slightly.  “Are you drunk?”


John gave him a beatific smile.  “Na, huh.  Well, maybe just …” He held the forefinger and his thumb up.  Holding them about half and inch apart.  “A little.  Want some?”  he offered the wine goblet to the scientist.


“No, thank you.  Who the hell knows what kind of herbs they put in the wine to make it mulled here in the Pegasus Galaxy.  With my luck, I’ll be allergic to it.”


“I’m not.”


“No, I think you’re just a little tipsy.”


John smiled at him.  “Not a little.  I think it’s lots.  This is some good shit.”


“Well, I sure as hell don’t know if I should be happy for you or not.”


John swayed unsteadily.  “Know what?”


“No.  Colonel, what?”


John frowned at him heavily.  “You don’t know?  I thought you knew everything.”


“For most things yes, but a mind reader I’m not.”


“Oh, okay.”  John looked around the mess hall at everyone having a good time. Suddenly someone turned on a radio.  “Hey, music.  Let’s dance.”


Rodney looked at the pilot’s hand as if it were an alien bug.  “I think not.”


“Come on.  Peese.”


Rodney shook his head.  “No way in hell.”


“Don’t you like me?” John said, hurt.


“I like you,” Rodney replied, with a patience he really wasn’t feeling.


“Then why won’t you dance with me?”


:Probably, because I don’t want to.”


“Don’t know how, huh?”  John asked, sagely.


“Of course I know how.  Why don’t you go and bother Tayla.  She’ll dance with you, I’m sure.”


John ignored Rodney’s comment.  “Know what?”


“Yes, Colonel.  I do.”


John looked at him in confusion.  “You do?”


“Huh, huh.”


“What do you know?”  the pilot asked, suspiciously.


“I know that you are one very drunk Colonel.”


“I know something too.”


“You do?”


John nodded.  “Yup.  I knows that you don’t want to dance with me.  And it hurts me, here.”  He touched his chest.  Looking over at Rodney with the saddest hazel eyes, the scientist had ever seen.


“You really want me to dance with you?”


John’s head bounced up and down happily. “Yes, blease.  I’d like to dance wiff you very much.”


“Okay, one thing though.”




Rodney took the goblet out of John’s hands.  “No more mulled wine for you. I am of the opinion you’ve had way to much.  You’re starting to talk funny.”


The pilot reached for it.  “But it’s some good shit.”


Rodney held it away from him.  “Good shit it may be, but you’re not reacting to well to it?”


John stopped trying to get the goblet.  “I is reacting just fine to it.”


“Want to dance with me?”


John nodded his head up and down.  Stopping that pretty quickly when it made him really dizzy.  “Yes.”


“No more mulled wine for you.”


John frowned at him.  “Party pooper.”


“Yes, I get that a lot.”


“I can see why.”


“Yes, Colonel.  I love you too,” Rodney told him, placing the goblet out of harms way.


Suddenly John’s hazel eyes widened.  “You love me?” he asked in astonishment.


“That was a figure of speech, Colonel.”


John frowned.  “You don’t love me?”  His lower lip coming out in a pout.  “I thought you loved me.”


Rodney started looking around the room for some one to come and take care of this drunk lunatic.  But everyone seemed to be in the same shape as the Colonel.  Just his luck.




“Why don’t you love me?  Am I to ugly?”  John asked, hazel eyes filling with tears.


“You’re not ugly, Colonel.  You’re very handsome.”


“You think I’m handsome?” John asked, preening happily.


“Yes, Colonel.   Just don’t let it go to your head.”


John moved closer.  “I think you’re very pretty, too.”


Rodney smiled at him.  “Why thank you.  That’s very nice of you to say.”  Maybe a drunk Colonel wasn’t all that bad after all.


“Knowz what I liked the best about you?”


“What?”  Rodney asked, curiously.


“Your berry smart,” John replied, nodded his head.  “Oh, I gotta quit doing that.  It makes so dizzy.”


Rodney placed a hand on the pilot’s shoulder.  “Are you alright?”


“Fine, just a little dizzy,” John replied, moving closer to rest his head against Rodney’s shoulder.


“Well, I’m not really surprised.”


“Me neither.  I think I drank to much mulled wine.”


Rodney rubbed John’s back comfortingly.  “I think so too.”


“Hmm.”  Suddenly the pilot started sniffing the scientist neck.  “You smell good.”


Rodney chuckled softly.  “Ivory soap.”


John looked up.  “Ivory soap?”


“Yes, I’m allergic to everything else.”


“Oh, dats to bad.”  John went back to sniffing the scientist neck.  “But not really to bad ‘cause you smell really nice.”


“Why thank you.”


“You berry welcome.  I like you, Rodney.”


Rodney wrapped his arms around the pilot.  “I like you too.”


“I thought you loved me.”


“Yes, okay.”


John looked up.  “Huh?”


“I like and I love you.”


“You do?”




John gave Rodney a brilliant if tipsy smile.  “Wow!  I get two for the price of one.  Dats so cool.”


“And you are so drunk.”


“Yup,” John readily agreed.  “I’m berry drunk.  Weren’t you going to dance with me?”


“Shit.  I thought you’d forgotten about that.”


“Ooh, Rodney, cussed.  I’m so telling,” John said, holding the scientist close.


“Who you going to tell?  My mom’s in a different galaxy.”


The pilot began swaying them together in an odd resemblance of dancing.  “I’ll tell…” he thought about it for a moment.  “I’ll tell…” he thought about it some more.  “I know, I’ll tell Elizabeth.”


Rodney smiled.  “Oooh, I’m so scared.”


John nodded in understanding.  “I know.  I’d be scared too.  She’s berry scary. I really gotta quit doing dat.  It makes me berry dizzy.”


“Yes, then quit doing it.”


“Okay, den I will.  Weren’t you going to dance with me?”


“I thought we were?”




“Dancing, you idiot.”


Suddenly John’s eyes filled with tears.  “You called me an idiot.”


“I didn’t mean it.  I swear I didn’t mean it,” Rodney said, hastily.


John’s lower lip came out in a pout.  “You hate me?”


“No.  No.  I swear I don’t,”  Rodney replied as the tears threatened to spill.


“Yes, you do.  You called me an idiot.”


“I’m sorry,” Rodney said, contritely.  “I didn’t mean it.  What can I do to make it up to you?”


John thought about it for a second.  “I wanna a kiss.”


“What?  You want a kiss?”


John nodded.  “Oh, did it again, dizzy. Really gotta quit doing dat.  Yes, I wanna a kiss.”


“Colonel, I don’t kiss guys.”


The pilot tilted his head to the side as he contemplated the scientist.  “Don’t kiss girls much either, do ya?”


Rodney waved a dismissive hand.  “That’s beside the point.”


“Don’t care ‘bout that.  You hurt my feelings and I wanna a kiss to make me feel better. ‘cause you hurt my feelings.”  The lower lip came out again.


Rodney sighed. “Oh, alright.  Come here then.”


The pilot went over to Rodney, closing his eyes he tilted his head readying himself for a kiss.


The scientist contemplated the lips inches from his.  Sighing heavily he placed his over them.


Suddenly John came to life, shoving Rodney against the wall, knocking over the table and the wine goblet on it.  It crashed to the floor spilling the remaining wine. 


John went after his lips with a hunger the scientist had never been subjected to in his life.

He tried to push the pilot away, moving him a couple of inches before John came after his mouth again, hungrier than before.


After a second Rodney quit fighting and opened his mouth, allowing John’s tongue in.  The pilot was making these odd little hungry noises.  They seemed to calm a little when Rodney ran his hands up and down John’s back. 


That was when he noticed that the pilot was trembling.  Rodney didn’t think it was from cold.  The mess hall was very warm.  What with all the Athosians and the Atlantian’s dancing and making merry. 


When John finally pulled away, he buried his head against the side of Rodney’s neck.


“Colonel, is there something you want to tell me?” The shivering increased.  “Shh, it’s okay.  Just tell me.”




“You were never drunk were you?”




Rodney rubbed his hands along John’s back.  “It’s okay, really.  Will you look at me?”




“Why not?”




Rodney chuckled softly.  “Well, I’m not really surprised.  If you wanted me in your bed all you had to do was asked.  You didn’t need to pretend to be drunk and then attack me in room full of people.”


John pulled away slightly.  “What would you have said?”


Rodney shrugged.  “Don’t know.”


John groaned.  “I ruined everything didn’t I?”


“Not necessarily.”


“What does that mean?”


“Well, I really like the kiss.  It was very nice.”


John’s hazel eyes looked at him hopefully.  “Does that mean you’d want more?”


Rodney smiled at him.  “Maybe.”




“Yeah,” Rodney said, softly.  “I didn’t know you wanted me.  He frowned.  “Why the hell do you want me?”


John blinked in astonishment. “Rodney, how the heck can you asked me that?”


Rodney shrugged.  “Well, it’s true.  I’m not exactly a catch.”


“According to who?”




John cupped Rodney’s face in his hands.  “Not according to me.  I want you very, very much and I have for a long time.”


“You’re not still drunk are you?”  Rodney asked, suspiciously.


“I was never drunk.  Not really.  I did have some mulled wine but no where enough to get drunk.”


“Why, John?”


“I wanted you and I didn’t know how to go about getting someone like you.”


Rodney smiled ruefully.  “It would have been easily enough.  All you had to do was ask.  And what do you mean someone like me?”


“Oh, Rodney.  You really don’t get it do you? You smart, funny and beautiful.”


Rodney blushed.  “I’m not beautiful.”


“Yes you are.  You’re gorgeous.  Here let’s sit.”  John sat on the floor away from the spilled wine, pulling Rodney down with him.  “Do you know when I first noticed you.  You know, ‘noticed you’?”


Rodney looked out into the mess hall.  Most everyone had wander away.  Only a few remained.  “No when?” 


“Back at Antarctica?”


“That long ago?”  Rodney asked in surprise.


“Yeah,” John replied, taking hold of the scientist hand.  “The first time I saw you.  You were so…”


“Crazed,” Rodney supplied with a chuckle.


“No.  Focused.  That’s the world I’m looking for.  So caught up in your work.  Your eyes lit up with such passion, such joy.  I wondered what it would be like to be the focus of all that passion, all that joy.”


“What made you decide that you wanted to get into my pants now?”  Rodney asked, scratching his neck lightly.  “That you had to resort to….hmm, whatever the hell you just did.”


John turned to face Rodney.  “I wanted you.  I didn’t know how else to try and get you,” he said quietly. “So I acted the fool.”


Rodney scratched at an irritation on his neck again.  “You didn’t have to do that. We’re always together.  You could have just asked.”


“Then you would have looked at me like I was twenty kinds of a moron.”


Rodney waved a dismissive hand.  “I do that anyway.”


John chuckled.  “Yeah, you do.  Rodney?”


The scientist rubbed at his mouth with the back of his hand, it was itching something fierce.  “Hmm?”


“Wanna go my room?  Let me show you how much I really want you?”


Rodney nibbled on his lower lip with his teeth.  It helped with the itching just a tad.  “Okay.”


John gave him a brilliant smile.  “Really?”


“Yeah.  Hey, do I have something on the side of my neck?’


John looked.  “It looks like a hive.”


Rodney rolled his eyes, shaking his head.  “Shit.”




“I think I’m allergic to you?”


“No.”  John replied in horror.  Watching as more hives began to appear all over Rodney’s mouth.  “Oh, man, no.”


Rodney rubbed them with his thumb.  Knowing better, but did it anyway. “Damn it.”




The scientist looked at the heartbroken pilot.  When he felt an intense itching in his right hand.  Looking down he noticed that his hand was sitting in a puddle of mulled wine.  “Oh.”




Rodney met John’s eyes.  “I may not be allergic to you after all.”  Holding up his hand, now covered in itchy hives.  “Mulled wine.  I knew there was a reason I never drank the stuff.  Want to go with me to see Beckett?  Maybe afterward we could go back to your place?”


“Okay,” John replied. Helping the scientist to his feet.  “Don’t scratch. It’ll only make it worse.”


“I know, but it itches.”


“If you quit scratching I’ll give you a reward.”


Rodney stopped.  “You will?”


“I’ll give you all the kisses you want.”


“Even with a swollen mouth?”


“Even then.”


Rodney looked at him in wonder.  “Must be love.”


John gave him a brilliant smile. “ I think it really, really must be.”