Author:  Angelee

Title:  Einstein

Date: December 13, 2005

Fandom:  Stargate Atlantis

Rating:  Adult

Challenge:  Getting your partner the pet from hell for Christmas

Disclaimer:  Not mine.

Feedback Address:

Advertisement:  Part of the SAC-2005 at:

Beta:  By my sister Anna.  All remaining errors are mine with apologies.

Note:  I tried to write a pet from hell story, truly I did.  But the muses decided to go a slightly different way.  As always I bow to their wishes.




“For me?”  Rodney asked, hopefully.


John smiled at him.  “Yeah, for you.  You like him?”


“It’s a him?”


“Yeah.  What do you think?”


“He’s the cutest kitty I ever saw in my life.  Thank you.”  Rodney kissed John quickly on the cheek.  To absorbed in his Christmas present to kiss the pilot the way John would have liked.  Especially with all the trouble he had had to go through to get the kitten into Atlantis.


Elizabeth hadn’t been to keen on the idea, but John had turned on the charm mentioning several times if it hadn’t been for Rodney-Atlantis would no longer exist and they’d all be very dead.


It had worked and now his lover was happily cuddling his brand new pet.


“So what are you going to name him?”


Rodney held up the fuzzy, white, green-eyed kitten.  “Hmm, I think I shall call him Einstein.”


John rolled his eyes.  “Well, that’s original.”


Rodney glared at him.  “What would you have me call him-Rambo?”


John smiled.  “Hey, that’s an idea.”


Rodney held the kitty to him defensively.  “Not on your life.”


John chuckled.  “It was just an idea.  He’s your kitten.  Name him whatever you like.”


Rodney gave John a brilliant smile.  “Thank you, John.  I love him.”


John preened.  “I knew you’d like him.  Carson wanted to get you a different kitten, but Einstein here was the runt of the litter and I knew you’d rather have him.”


Rodney gently stroked the kitten’s fur.  “How do you figure that?”


“You’re for the underdog and no one wanted Einstein here because they thought he was to little and wouldn’t survive.”


Rodney frowned. “Is there something wrong with him? Do we need to go back to earth and get him a doctor?  I’ll get him the best vet money can buy. Oh, God, my baby’s sick,” he said in alarm, holding the kitten protectively to his chest.


John put his arm on Rodney’s shoulder.  “Steady. He’s not sick.  Beckett was taking care of him until I could give him to you for Christmas.  And he says your kitten is as healthy as can be.”


“I’ll have to thank him.” The kitten seemed to have taken an instant liking to Rodney.  Purring and rubbing against the scientist affectionately.  “Einstein likes me,’ the scientist said happily.


John smiled.  “He sure does.”


Rodney held the kitten up.  “Would you like to see your new home, Einstein?”


The kitten gently tap Rodney’s nose with his tiny paw.  “Guess so,” Rodney said, chuckling softly.


He carefully placed Einstein on the floor. They watched as the kitten explored their room.  After a moment John took Rodney into his arms.


“I brought everything he’s going to need.  Food, cat litter, toys.”


Rodney smiled at him.  “Thank you.  I love him.”


“I’m glad.”




Two days later Ronon came into Rodney’s lab to remind him about a briefing.  Einstein was playing happily in the box sitting on top of the scientist’s desk. The box containing soft towels for his comfort and toys for him to play with while Rodney worked.  The scientist adamantly refused to leave the kitten alone for any reason.


“What kind of beastie is this?”  The Runner asked, looking in the box.


Rodney looked up from his laptop.  “That’s not a beastie.  That my cat, Einstein.”


“What is a cat?”


The scientist rolled his eyes.  “I think we already covered that.”


Ronon ignored the snide comment. “Does it bite?” he asked, reaching into the box tentatively.


“I don’t think so.  I haven’t seen him bite anything with any amount of aggression besides his toys.  And it’s not an ‘it’.  Einstein is a boy, thank you very much.”


Ronon gently touched the kitten’s head. “He’s very soft,” he said, after a moment.


Rodney smiled.   “Well, he spends enough time grooming himself.  Very vain is Einstein.”


The kitten was looking up at Ronon with green-eyed wonder, as the Runner petted him.  Suddenly he started purring.


“Oh.  What is he doing?”  Ronon asked in fascination, feeling the tiny rumbles under his fingers.


“He’s purring.  That means he likes you.”


Ronon gave a rare smiled.  “May I pick him up?”


Rodney nodded.  “Yes, but be careful.  He’s still a baby.”


The Runner gently picked up the tiny kitten.  Stroking the soft fur with a huge forefinger.

Ronon laughed softly when the kitten began gently nibbling on his finger.  “Are there many such …what did you call him…cat, on your world?”


“Yes.  He’s still small so he’s called a kitten, but it amounts to the same thing.”


Suddenly Einstein decided he wanted to test his climbing skills. “Ow!” Ronan flinched when tiny claws latch onto his skin.  He froze.  “Rodney, what do I do?”  he asked as the kitten climbed up his arm and onto his shoulder.  With no regard to fragile human flesh.


“Don’t hurt him.  He’s still a baby and he doesn’t know any better.”


“That hurt.”


“Yes, he’s got tiny nails, but they’re really sharp,” Rodney replied, watching as the kitten perched comfortably on a wide shoulder and began nibbling contently on a braid.


The Runner’s face suddenly held a look of wonder.  “He is making that noise again.”


“What noise?”


“Like a small motor.”


Rodney smiled.  “He really likes you.  But that’s not saying much, Einstein’s easy.  He likes everyone.  Well, everyone except Kavanagh.”


“What does he do when he doesn’t like you?”  Ronon asked, curiously.


“His fur stands straight up, his ears go flat against his head and he hisses.”




“Yeah, you know hisses. Hisssss.”  Rodney made the sound for the Runner’s benefit. 


“Oh.”  Ronon turned slightly to look at the kitten.  “It would not seem like it would scare many.”


Rodney laughed.  “It scared the hell out of Kavanagh.  He called Einstein ‘the pet from hell’.  Now he won’t come into the lab if the kitten’s in here.  Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. ”






“May I ask you something?”  Ronon asked, teasing the kitten with one of his braids. Chuckling softly when the Einstein swatted it with a tiny paw.




“May I borrow your baby cat?”  Ronon asked, hopefully.


Rodney’s eyes widened in surprise.  “You want to borrow Einstein?”


“Yes, only for a short while.”




“I would like to show him where my room is so that if he ever becomes lost he will know where to go for help.”


Rodney looked at him suspiciously.  “Really?  You’re not one of those people who eats animals like Einstein are you?”


“No, my people do not eat kittens.  There are no kittens on my planet to eat.  And if there were, we certainly wouldn’t eat them.”


“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Rodney replied, remorsefully.  He really needed to learn when to shut up.  “I’d be very grateful if you showed Einstein where your room is.  Atlantis is very big and he’s a very small cat.”


Rodney suddenly felt better when Ronon gave him brilliant smile.  Something he rarely gave anyone.  “Really?”




Ronon gently took the kitten in his hands.  “We will be back shortly.”


“Take your time.  Ronon?”  The Runner stopped. “Take care of my kitten.”


Ronon nodded, solemnly.  “With my life.”  


Rodney watched the big Runner gently cradling Einstein against his chest. The tiny cat once again nibbling on Ronon’s fingers, as they made their way out the door.  Smiling he turned back to his laptop.


Sometime later…


“Where Einstein?”


Rodney startled.  “Damn, you scared me?”  He looked up to meet amused hazel eyes.  “Ronon took him to show him where his room is. In case he ever gets lost he knows where to go for help.”


“Huh, huh.  Likely excuse ”


Rodney smiled at him.  “Yeah, I didn’t buy it either.  All Einstein had to do was give the mighty Runner a purr and Ronon was putty before his fuzzy feet.”


“So Einstein liked him?”


“Yes.  The only one he doesn’t like even a little is Kavanagh.”


John’s eyebrows went up in surprise.  “Still?”


Rodney chuckled.  “Yup.  Kavanagh won’t even come into the lab if Einstein’s in here.”


John pulled Rodney up into his arms.  “Works for me.”


“Me too.  But I don’t like it when he calls my kitten ‘the pet from hell’.”  The astrophysicist said, frowning.  “It’s not true.”


John buried his head against Rodney’s neck.  “Well, he did swat my head this morning.”


Rodney pulled the pilot closer.  “That because you were trying to get nasty with me.”


“Nasty?  I wanted to make love.”


“With a baby in the house?”  Rodney replied, shocked.  “What kind of example are you setting for Einstein?”


John nibbled on Rodney’s earlobe.  “A very good example.  It’s telling him that John loves Rodney.”


“Hmm, that feels good.  But Einstein is still a baby/”


“He’s not going to care if I make love to you.”


Rodney pulled away slightly.  “Are you sure about that?”


John smile. “Well, there was this morning, but he just didn’t want me bothering his perch.”


“I’ve never had a cat that likes to sleep on people’s head before.”


“I think he just does that so he can swat me every time I get near you for a kiss.  He’s one jealous cat.”


Rodney chuckled.  “Yeah, he wants to be the only one that can kiss me.”


John cupped Rodney’s face.  “I’ll show him,”  he said, kissing the scientist deeply, when they finally broke apart.  “He’s not the only one that can kiss Rodney McKay.”


Rodney moaned softly searching for another kiss. “Hmm, you kiss much better.  No tuna breath.”


John licked at Rodney’s mouth hungrily.  “Hmm,” he murmured softly.   His tongue entering his mouth, deeply. 


Rodney played with it for awhile making it chase him, before following it back into John’s mouth. Where it was happily sucked.


When John pulled away.  “Hmm, do you think we could get Ronon to kitty sit for awhile so I can love you?”


Rodney stroked John’s hair.  “You already love me.”


The pilot began to gently rock them.  “Okay, I want to show you then.”


Rodney rested his forehead on John’s.  “That would be really nice.”


“We could leave Ronon a note,” The pilot asked, hopefully.


Rodney kissed John’s nose.  “We could.”


“No,” The pilot said reluctantly. “We can’t do that to Einstein.  It might hurt his feelings.  Besides he’s family now.”


“Yes.”  Rodney cupped John’s face, looking deep into his eyes.  “Did I ever tell you how much I liked that you thought enough of me to get me a kitten?”


“I love you Rodney.  There’s nothing in this galaxy or any other that I wouldn’t do for you.”


Rodney nuzzled John’s mouth with his.  “Beckett told me what you had to go through to get Einstein. No one’s ever done so much bun kissing in their life for me.”


“I’m in the military.  It’s covered in Butt-Kissing 101.”


Rodney chuckled.  “Thank you.”


John began unbuttoning Rodney’s uniform to stroke the soft skin underneath.  “It wasn’t a big deal.”


“It was for me. A very big deal and I love you for it.”


John kissed the revealed skin.  “Did I tell you where Einstein came from?”


“No.  Where?”


“I knew how much you missed your cat.  I tried to get her back for you, but your neighbor back on earth refused to let her go.  That’s when Carson told me his mom’s cat was having kittens.  We went to visit her when the kittens where old enough to be adopted out.”


“Was that around the time you went back to earth on the Daedalus.  You went a Major and came back Colonel?”


“One and the same.”


Rodney watched John spread his shirt wide.  Hands caressed his chest.  “So Einstein’s Scottish?”


John bent his head to lick a nipple.  “Yup, haven’t you noticed that his meowing had a certain accent to it?”


Rodney chuckled.  “Come to think of it-yes I have.” The pilot sucked the other nipple, making Rodney moan in pleasure.  “Hmm, that feels good.  I love you, John.  For all the kindest and consideration you showed me.”  His voice hitched.  “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone like you, but I thank all the Gods in this universe and all others everyday for giving me to you.”


John looked up, meeting Rodney’s tear-filled eyes.  “You have it backward, Baby.  They gave me to you.”




“Yeah,” John replied, softly.  Wiping the away the tears with his thumbs.


“Then they must really like me.”


John chuckled, taking the scientist in his arms.  “Oh, Rodney,” he said, affectionately.  “They’re not the only ones.”


“I love you, John.”


“I love you too.  Wanna wait for Einstein and go home, be a family.”


“Yes, I’d like that very much.”