Author:  Angelee

Title:  Now and For Always

Date:  December 10th, 2005

Fandom:  Smallville

Rating: Adult

Challenge: Sex, candlelight, and mulled wine, not necessarily in that order.

Disclaimer:  Not mine.

Feedback address:  angelee79912@yahoo.com

Advertisement:  Part of the SAC-2005 found at:  http://www.corgi.slashcity.net/SAC-2005.htm

Beta:  By my sister Anna.  All remaining errors are mine with apologies.

 

Now and For Always

 

“Hey, Lex.  Whatcha’ doing sitting in the dark?”

 

“Hello, Clark.  I’m not sitting in the dark I’ve got candles lit.”

 

Clark looked around the darkened living room, with its dozen or so flickering candles.  “I guess that works.  What are you doing?”

 

“Nothing.  Just sitting around drinking mulled wine and feeling sorry for myself,” Lex answered from the depths of his chair.

 

“Why’s that?”

 

Lex snorted softly.  “Why? He asks why?  No reason, Clark, no reason at all.”

 

Clark knelt in front of his friend.  “Is there something I can help you with?”

 

“Do you know what kind of images you kneeling in front of me brings to mind, Clark?”

 

Clark frowned.  “Are you drunk, Lex?”

 

“Yes, Clark, I am.”

 

“Oh. Why?”

 

Clark watched Lex lift his wine goblet to his mouth.  “Why what?”

 

“Why are you drunk?”

 

Lex chuckled softly.  “I felt like getting drunk.  How’s that for an answer?”

 

Clark placed a hand on Lex’s knee, earning a small sound of distress from his friend.  “Let me help.”

 

“You can’t help me.  Remove your hand from my knee, Clark.”

 

“No.”

 

“No?  Did you just tell me ‘no’?”

 

Clark moved closer.  “Yeah, I did.  Let me help.”

 

Lex gave a weary sigh.  “Go away, Clark.”

 

“No.”

 

“Go to Lana.  Let her keep you entertained.  I don’t have the energy for it right now.”

 

Clark gently pried Lex’s knees apart going between them to get closer to his friend.  “We broke up weeks ago.  You would have known that if you’d answer my phone calls and my e-mails.”

 

The wine goblet lifted again.  “I’ve been busy.”

 

“To busy to talk to a friend?”

 

“Yes.  Clark, I really suggest that you not stay where you’re at.  Or you are going to get the surprise of your life.”

 

“No.”

 

Lex chuckled softly.  “Again the ‘no’.  That could be really discouraging to someone else secure than I.”

 

Clark caught the goblet.  “No more wine for you.  I think you’ve had enough.”

 

Lex didn’t fight Clark, releasing the goblet readily enough.  “Perhaps you’re right.  It’s not helping in any case.”

 

“What’s it not helping?  Talk to me, Lex, please,” Clark said, worriedly.

 

“You’re very beautiful.  Did you know that, Clark?  Oh, but of course you already know that.”

 

Clark frowned.  “Lex…”

 

“You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen,” Lex continued as if Clark hadn’t tried to talk.  “They speak to the soul.  My soul.”

 

“Lex…”

 

A hand came out to caress his cheek gentle.  “Very beautiful.”

 

Clark tilted his head allowing Lex to cup the side if his face.  “What is it?  What’s wrong?”

 

The hand moved away leaving coldness in it wake.  “Nothing.  Nothing is wrong.”

 

“You’re acting so strange, Lex.”

 

“Go home to your parents and to Lana.”

 

Clark moved closer.  “Lex, I don’t want to go home and I already told you I broke up with Lana.”

 

Lex gave a sharp laugh.  “What for the hundredth time?  You’ll get back together with her.  You always do.”

 

“Not this time.”

 

“That’s what you said last time. Why are you here, Clark?”

 

Clark frowned trying to see his Lex’s face in the candlelight. “I wanted to see my friend.  Can’t I come over and see my friend?”

 

“No friend here.  You must mean the other one.  The one you’re not continually accusing of betrayal.”

 

“Lex…”

 

“Go home, Clark.”

 

“No.” Having had enough Clark pulled Lex to his feet.  “What is it?  What’s wrong?  Tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Lex looked away.  “Nothing, Clark.  Nothing’s wrong.”

 

“Look at me, Lex.  Look. At. Me.”

 

When Lex finally looked at him. There was such sadness in Lex’s eyes it brought tears to Clark’s eyes.  “Oh, Lex.” He carefully took him in his arms.  “It’s going to be okay.  Really it is.”

 

“How can you say that?  Nothing will ever be okay,” Lex replied, rubbing his face wearily against Clark’s chest.

 

“It will.  I swear it will.”

 

“How?”  Lex’s voice hitched.  “How will it be okay?’

 

“I’ll make it okay.”

 

“Oh, and how do you plan on doing that?” 

 

Clark pulled away slightly to cup Lex’s face in his hands.  “I love you, Lex.”

 

“No you don’t.”

 

“Are you telling me what I’m feeling?”

 

Lex looked away.  “Yes.”

 

“Look at me?  Don’t look away.  Keeping looking at me.” Clark rubbed at the tears coursing down Lex’s pale face, with his thumbs.  “I love you.”

 

“You don’t love me.  You gave yourself to another.”

 

Clark frowned.  “How the hell would you know that?”

 

“Lana.  She was talking to Chloe. I overheard her talking to Chloe.”

 

Clark sighed.  “Lex…”

 

“That’s okay.  I understand.  Really.”

 

Clark pulled Lex back into his arms.  Damn-how the hell was he going to fix this?

 

“Is that why you wouldn’t answer my phone calls or e-mails?”

 

“There was nothing left to say.  I think you pretty much said it all.”

 

Clark bit his lip.  “Lex…”

 

“Go back to Lana, Clark.  Go and make pretty babies.”

 

Clark felt his eyes fill with tears.  “I…I’ve broken you’re heart haven’t I?  Without meaning to, I’ve broken your heart.”

 

“I’ll survive.  That’s one thing I’ve learned to do really well-survive.  Let go of me now, Clark.”

 

“Lex, you should have told me how you felt.  I didn’t know.  If I had known I would never have…”

 

“Yes, you would have.  You’ve been fascinated with Lana most of your life.  It’s fitting that you gave you’re virginity to her.”  Lex wiped his face wearily.  “Go home, Clark.”

 

“No.  I want to work this out.”

 

“There’s nothing to work out.”

 

“There is,” Clark insisted.  “There is.  I don’t love Lana.  I’ve been obsessed with her.  There’s a difference.”

 

“You bedded her, Clark.”

 

Clark cupped Lex’s face in his hands again.  “Does that make me unworthy in your eyes?” Lex refused to meet Clark’s eyes.  “I guess it does,” he said sadly.  He let Lex go.  “I’m sorry, Lex.”  He turned to leave, making it to the door before a heart-wrenching sound made him turn back.  Lex was laying on the floor, curled up into a tight little ball, crying.  “Lex.  Oh, my God, Lex.”

 

Clark tried to uncurl Lex, but his friend refused to cooperate and Clark didn’t want to hurt him.

 

“G…go away, Clark.  I don’t want you to see me this way.”

 

Clark curled himself around Lex, offering his warmth.  “I’ve already seen you like this.”

 

“Go away.”

 

“No.”

 

“Yes,” Lex replied, trying to wiggle away from Clark.  “I don’t want you here.”

 

“I want to be here,” Clark refused to allow Lex to move away.  Slowly uncurling him from his fetal position.  After many minutes he had Lex flat against the carpeted floor and before he could curl back up covered him with his body.

 

“No,” Lex protested weakly.

 

“Yes, Lex-oh-yes.” Clark reached between their two bodies and tore Lex’s pants and then his.  “I need to show you how much you mean to me.  This is the only way, I think.”

 

Lex hissed when Clark entered his body with no preparation.  “Ah.”

 

“F…feel me, Lex.  Feel. Me.”

 

Lex pushed at his shoulders.  “No.  Don’t want this.”

 

“You do.  We both know you do.” Clark allowed Lex to become use to him before beginning a slow rhythm.  This wasn’t what he had wanted when he’d come here.

 

Coming over on Christmas Eve.  Not wanting to practically rape Lex.  He’d come over to ask Lex if his friend would accept him as a lover.  He never realized that him sleeping with Lana would have such a devastating effect on Lex.

 

For Clark, he’d always though he loved Lana.  Realizing to late it wasn’t love at all but obsession.  He’d obsessed over her for so long it had gotten into his blood.  Till it was all he could think about.  Realizing too late he didn’t really want Lana, he never did. The obsession dying once he’d tasted it and realized it wasn’t what he wanted.

 

Lex lay under him, quietly.  Not really responding.  Just laying there, eyes closed.

 

Clark stopped moving.  “Lex, don’t you want me?”

 

Getting no response.

 

“Lex, please,” Clark, pleaded.  “Answer me?”

 

“No.  I don’t want you.”

 

“Liar.” With that Clark began thrusting into Lex in a rhythm sure to get a response and it did.  Lex began to quietly sob under him. Clark stopped moving again.  “Am I hurting you?”

 

“No more that you already have.”

 

Clark buried his face against Lex’s neck.  “A…am I soiled goods now, Lex?”

 

“I wanted to be the one to show you about love, Clark.”

 

Clark cupped Lex’s face.  “You can still do that, Lex.  You can still do that,” he repeated.  “Show me how to love, Lex.”

 

Lex turned his face away from him.  “To late. To late.  Way to late.”

 

“No, Lex.  It’s not to late. Look at me, please.”

 

The bald head still didn’t turn.  Clark placed a finger under his chin and very carefully turned his head.  “I love you, Lex.”

 

“No, you don’t,” Lex said, resolutely and with soul-deep sadness.  Eyes closed to hold back his tears.

 

“But I do,” Clark told him softly.  “I realized to late for you to be my very first, but Lex know what?”

 

“W…what?”

 

“You can be my very last.”  Clark wiped the tears that spilled through with his forefinger.

 

Lex opened his eyes.  “Last.”

 

Clark nodded, smiling down at him.  “My very last, best love.  Will you have me?”

 

“Are you offering a proposal of marriage?”

 

“Yes, Lex.”

 

“You want to marry me?”  Lex’s voice had a note of wonder.

 

“Yes, Lex.”

 

“I’m not very good at the marriage thing.”

 

“You will be this time.”

 

Lex’s hand came up to caress the side of Clark’s face.  “How can you be so sure?”

 

“Because you love me for reals,” Clark said, kissing Lex’s palm.

 

“I do.”

 

“Hmm?” Clark asked, softly.

 

“Love you.”

 

“I know that.  I’m so sorry I hurt you so badly.”

 

“You didn’t know.  I didn’t tell you and besides it wouldn’t have changed a thing.  You still needed to get over your obsession with Lana.  Is that really over?”

 

Clark nodded, starting to move inside of Lex.  “Yes.”

 

“Ah.  Are you sure?”

 

“Positive.  I love you, Lex.  I tried to get a hold of you for weeks so I could talk to you about it, but …it never worked out.”

 

“Oh, that feels good.  I’ve wanted this for so long.  I thought when I heard Lana talking to Chloe that I’d lost my chance.”

 

Clark suddenly flipped them over so that Lex was on top. “No, not over.  Just beginning.”

 

Lex looked down at Clark stunned.  “Wow.  That kind of made me dizzy.”

 

Clark smiled up at him.  “Maybe it was the mulled wine.”

 

“Maybe.  Oh, this feels really good,” Lex told him softly, moving sensually on top of Clark.  “You feel so good, so very good.”

 

Clark placed his hand on Lex’s hips.  “Hmm, you should try it from where I am.”

 

“Can I?”

 

Clark gave Lex a brilliant smile.  “Oh, yeah, I’d really like that?”

 

“Hey?”

 

“What?”  Clark asked, breathlessly as Lex began moving urgently.  “Oh, man-does that feels good.”

 

“”That’s something Lana can’t have.”

 

Clark reached up and cupped the side of Lex’s face.  “You don’t have to worry about Lana.  Not now, not ever again.  Know why?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because I love you, Lex.  You and only you.  Lex?”

 

“What?”  Lex asked, distractedly as he began moving faster.

 

“Marry me?”

 

“Tonight?”

 

“Oh, God-you feel so good.  Yes, tonight.”

 

Clark loved the way Lex’s body glimmered in the candlelight illuminating the living room. His pale skin shone giving its own source if light. He looked beautiful.

 

“Alright.  Can we finish what we’re doing first?”

 

“Yes, Oh-God yes. I love you, too, Clark.  Now and for always.”

 

“Now and for always.”