Title: Lee’s Christmas Wish
Author: Angelee
Fandom: The Sentinel
Pairing: Jim/Blair, Steven/Michael, Rafe/Lee (preslash) William/Daniel (slash)
Summary: Can Christmas wishes come true?
Beta: By my sister Anna. All remaining errors are mine-with apologies.
Note: This story takes place around the time of Football, Birthdays and Holidays 4 Part 2.
Lee’s Christmas Wish
Lee sighed unhappily as he watched William hug Steven again. Not that he could fault a father hugging his son. It was just that…
No best not to think about that. It hurt too much anyway.
“Hey, Lee whatcha doin’?”
Lee startled. “Nothing. Why?”
Rafe shrugged. “Don’t know. You looked kinda sad there for a minute. Is there anything you wanna talk about?” he asked as he sat next to his Guide on the loveseat.
“Not really.”
“You can, you know. Talk to me about anything,” Rafe offered, softly.
“I know. It’s just that…” Sad blue eyes looked at him. “What’s it like to have a father?”
Rafe blinked. This was something he hadn’t expected. “Huh?”
“Yeah. What’s it like to have a father who you love and loves you back?”
Rafe frowned. “I don’t know what you mean, Lee.”
“I never knew my real father. All I ever had was Garrett. And as you can tell he wasn’t much of a father,” Lee said, touching the bruise on his face. “He hated me. He only tolerated me because of Mom.”
“Why was that?”
“Mom’s really pretty. She wanted a better life for me and she thought Kincaid could give it to me,” Lee sighed, unhappily. “I never wanted the big house. Or all the fancy clothes. Not that Kincaid ever gave me that. He was always forgetting I existed on purpose. Even more when Mom went into rehab for her problems. I still think he had a lot to do with that. But I just wanted to be with my Mom. We could’ve lived in a cardboard box under a bridge somewhere and I would have been happy. But Mom wanted a better life for me.”
Rafe tucked a lock of Lee’s dark blond hair off his face. “You can’t fault your Mom for that.”
“No. I think if she hadn’t gotten involved with Kincaid she wouldn’t have the problems she’s got now and I would have my family, such as it is.”
Rafe took his Guide into his arms. His eyes filling with tears. Lee was feeling really sad and the Sentinel had no idea how to make him feel better.
“I’ll be your family, Lee.”
The Guide sighed again. “Thank you. That’s really nice,” he replied, wrapping his arms around his Sentinel’s waist. Resting his head against a comforting shoulder.
“Is that why the questions about having a Dad?”
“Yeah. I guess. I never had a real dad. Are all Dads the way William is with Jim, Steven and Blair? How your Dad is with you?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“I wish I had a real Dad?”
Rafe closed his eyes tightly at the utter sadness of Lee’s words, tears escaping anyway. Opening his eyes he looked over to find Steven watching quietly.
Even through the shimmer of tears, Rafe saw Steven’s body blurred like that one time when Steven had sworn to protect his Guide. Through his tears Rafe saw Steven’s promise. He would see Lee’s wish come true. A father he could be proud of, someone he could call Dad.
***
“Dad?”
William looked up from his paper. “Yes, Son?”
“Can I talk to you for a minute? You’re not to busy?” Steven asked, from the door to William’s study.
William smiled. “Never to busy for you. What can I do for you?”
Steven walked into the room. “It’s about Lee?”
William frowned. “Is something wrong?”
Steven nodded. “Yup.”
“What?”
“Lee is really, really sad?”
William’s frowned deepened. “Why?”
“He doesn’t have a Dad and he wants one real bad.”
William blinked. “A Dad?”
Steven nodded. “Yup. He needs a Dad.”
“Me?”
Steven nodded again. “Yup. You’re the best Dad in the world.”
William smiled, touched. “Thank you, but are you sure that Lee would want me to be his Father?”
“Almost positive.”
“Have you asked him?”
Steven shook his head. “I didn’t want to get his hopes up in case it didn’t work out.”
“Good, idea. He still has his Mom and she hasn’t caused any trouble like Naomi did with Blair,” William bit his lip as he thought about how best to proceed. “Okay, let me call my lawyers see what we can do. It may not work out,” He warned at the brilliant smile Steven gave him. “But let’s give it a try.”
Steven went to where his dad sat, reaching over he gave him a sloppy kiss on the forehead. “Thanks, Dad. It would mean the world to Lee if he were a part of this family.”
“He is a part of the family.” William got a thoughtful look on his face. “Perhaps we need to be more vocal about it.”
Steven nodded. “Maybe. But I think having proof makes all the difference in the world.” He said, touching the ring on his father’s left hand.
“Is that why you like rings so much?”
“Yeah. You have something in your hand or rather on your finger that tells you you’re loved. No matter how many times someone tells you it doesn’t amount to a hill of beans unless you’ve got solid prove.”
William hugged his son close. “I love you, Steven. Do you need something more tangible to prove it?”
“You’re DAD. Everything you do and say every day is solid proof that you love us. And I mean everything. All of us, even addle-brained Jim realized that. You’d move heaven and earth for us kids and you have.”
William felt his eyes fill with tears. “No one has ever said anything remotely as nice as what you’ve just told me, Steven. Thank-you.”
“I love you, Dad. One of these days when I figure out how, I’ll commit to you the same way I have to the Sentinels and the Guides. But right now I give you my word that I will do my very best for you the same way you have for us.”
“Steven…” William choked back a sob. “I…don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just know I love you.”
William touched Steven’s cheek with a trembling hand. “How did you get to be so smart? So caring?”
Steven moved his face into the gently touch. “I got it all from my Dad. All of it.”
“Oh, Son.” William pulled his son into his arms, holding the slight body close. After a long, long moment Steven pulled away reluctantly.
“I better go. I gotta take the Guides a snack,” Steven smiled at his father. “before they starve in their hidey hole.”
“Are they still hiding?”
“Every chance they get. Rafe’s leaving little hickey marks on Lee’s neck from all the bonding he wants to do. And Blair-Blair just wants to hang out with Lee. I think it’s a Guide thing.”
“Ah. Let me call my lawyers and see what we can do about making Lee an official part of this family. What about Rafe?”
“Rafe will be fine. He’s got Sarina and Manny and they’re always coming over. So he’s cool. It’s Lee who wants a real father something fierce.”
“Okay. Lets see what we can work out. Son?” Steven turned back to look at his Dad. “I love you, Steven-very much.”
Steven gave him a huge smile. “I know and I love you back just as much.” Saying that he walked out of the study.
William looked after his son for a moment before picking up the phone.
***
Steven carefully held a tray with a plate of cookies and glasses of milk as he walked through the living room with it. When Rafe caught up with him.
“Stevie, Stevie, wait up.” Rafe tried to catch his breath from his race down the stairs.
Steven stopped. “What?”
“Did you talk to your Dad about Lee?”
“Yeah, it’s a go.”
Rafe smiled at him. “Cool. Can we tell him? It’d make him feel so much better.”
Steven shook his head. “Better not. What if my Dad can’t make it happen?”
“He’s your Dad he can make anything happen.”
“I know, but he’s only human and what if Kincaid and Lee’s Mom don’t wanna cooperate. You saw how Kincaid reacted when he found out Lee was a Guide. Poor Lee’s still wearing the bruise.”
Rafe sighed. “I know. It’s just… Lee’s been so sad.”
“I know. But he’ll get sadder if Dad can’t make it happen.”
“I guess you right. Hey, those cookies for the Guides?”
Steven nodded. “Yup.”
“Gonna tell me where they’re hiding?”
“Nope.”
“Come on?”
“Nope. Not gonna happen. Lee needs to get away from you for a little while. Let the skin on his neck heal a little bit before you start molesting him again.”
“I’m not molesting him,” Rafe replied, deeply offended.
“Sure as hell are.”
Rafe huffed at him. “Blair is going to so kick your ass when he realized you cussing bad enough to compete with a sailor.”
“He hadn’t noticed yet.”
“He will and I am so going to enjoy the ass whipping you’re going to get.”
Steven smiled at him. “You’re just jealous ‘cause I know where they’re hiding and you don’t.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Don’t you have something you need to do? Like getting ready for Sentinel tutoring or something.”
Rafe’s brown eyes widened. “What time is it? Oh, God-I am going to be so late. Gotta go.” Yet he didn’t move, instead he stood watching Steven expectantly.
After a moment. “Well, aren’t you going?” Steven asked in annoyance.
“You first.”
Steven smiled at him. “Nice try.”
“I hate you.”
“Yeah, yeah, you already said that and it so hurts my feelings.”
“Alright, I’m going.” Still Rafe didn’t move.
“Well?”
“Fine. Fine. I’m going.”
Steven sighed heavily. “Well, go already.”
“I don’t have to go just yet. I’m only going to Simon’s office.”
Steven’s eyes got a mischievous look. One that should have set off warning bell, which Rafe being Rafe and a Sentinel completely missed. Making him such an easy target for Steven. “Do you want to help me take the milk and cookies to the Guides?” Steven said, mildly enough.
Rafe’s eyes widened in surprise. “Can I?” he asked, hopefully.
“Hell, no. I just wanted to pull your chain.”
“I hate you so much,” Rafe hissed at him.
Steven smiled at him. “Yeah you’ve told me for the third time and as you can see I’m heartbroken about it.”
“Hey, I think I feel a zone coming on. I need my Guide,” Rafe told him dramatically. “I think I’m zoning on…” he looked wildly around the living room for something Steven would buy.
“The sunlight coming in from the window,” Steven offered helpfully.
“Yeah, yeah. The sunlight coming in from the window. Oh, my eyes, my eyes. I need my Guide. I can’t see. I’m blind, I’m blind. Lee. Lee.”.
Steven rolled his eyes. “Rafe, my friend. I have one bit of advice for you,” He said, touching the young Sentinel’s arm solemnly with his free hand. “Don’t give up your day job as an actor you really suck.”
“Come on, Stevie,” Rafe whined.
“No. Go to tutoring, before Simon yells for you.”
Just then…
“Rafe, you’ve got half a second to get your little buns in this room,” A bellow came from where Simon’s office was located.
Rafe flinched. “Sentinel here. No need to yell.”
“NOW.”
“Coming. Coming. Stevie?” Rafe looked around the now empty room. Steven was gone. Taking with him the platter of cookies and three glasses of milk and Rafe hadn’t seen or felt him leave. He lifted his nose in the air trying to catch of wiff of the chocolate chip cookies or even the scent of rich milk. See if maybe that would lead him to the whereabouts of his Guide. It didn’t work. Steven had covered his tracks to well. He sighed unhappily. He really hated Steven sometimes.
“Rafe. NOW.”
Rafe flinched again. “Coming.”
***
Steven opened the door to the attic carefully, not wanting to drop the tray he was carrying. He looked over to where the Guides had made their hideaway. It was piled high with blankets, pillows, books, colors of every shade possible and stuffed toys Blair insisted on sharing with Lee.
Lee enjoying the attention Blair lavished on him. Never having had a little brother or even much of a family, he ate it up.
Steven looked over to where he thought they’d be finding them tangled together sound asleep. He smiled to himself as he made his way toward them. Lee was cuddling Blair close with Blair holding his black panther. It was a really cute sight.
Placing the tray on a nearby table, Steven picked up his sketchbook. This was way too cute to pass up. Sitting on the huge overstuffed chair, smiling he began drawing.
Lee was the first to move, stretching carefully so as to not wake Blair. He looked over toward Steven.
“Stevie?”
“Yeah?”
“H…how long have we been asleep?”
“Don’t know when you fell asleep, but I’ve been sitting here sketching for half and hour.”
“Hmm,” Lee carefully pulled away from Blair and sat up. “Blair wanted a nap, but he didn’t want to take it by himself. So I laid down and before I knew it, I was asleep too.” He said with a sheepish smile. “He sure makes a good teddy bear.”
Steven smiled at him. “Yeah, every time he lays down with Jim, Jim’s asleep five seconds flat.”
Lee chucked softly. “I bet. Are the Sentinels alright?”
“Besides being the biggest babies the world has ever seen? Yeah, they’re alright.”
Lee giggled. “Yeah. Are you sure us hiding from them for a while isn’t going to hurt them?”
“I’m sure. Hey, that reminds me do you want some more cream on your neck?”
“Yeah. It doesn’t sting as much anymore, which is good.”
Steven put down his sketchpad and picked up the little tube of first aid cream. Lee obligingly offered his neck. “Well, it’s not as red. Now the spots only look like love bites and not like someone’s been gnawing on your neck.” He told the Guide as he carefully applied the cream. Noticing Lee wasn’t wincing anymore.
“Rafe sure likes to bond, now that I can do it right.”
“Now if he wasn’t such a big baby about it.”
Lee turned so Steven could get the other side. “He won’t let me do anything. I’m falling behind in my homework because all he wants to do is bond. If only I could figure out how to bond him and do other things at the same time.”
“Sentinels sure are needy suckers aren’t they?”
“But they sure are cute.”
“Gag.”
Lee chuckled. “At least mine is.”
“What do you see in Rafe anyway?” Steven asked curiously, tossing the now closed bottle of cream back on the table.
Lee got a faraway look in his blue eyes. “He’s my Sentinel.”
“That’s it? You put up with all the indignities, because he’s your Sentinel?” Steven asked in disgust.
Lee smiled at him goofily. “Oh, yeah.”
Steven frowned at him. “You my friend are seriously cracked. You do know that right?”
“Yup. Very cracked,” Lee agreed, readily.
“Okay, just making sure you know. Want some milk and cookies? The milk might be a little warm by now though.”
“That’s okay. There was times when the milk I had to drink was sour because Garrett didn’t leave money for food before he left on his business trips.”
“He probably did it on purpose.”
“Yeah, he didn’t like me much. I like it here lots better. There’s always food in case we get hungry and Sally’s always making cookies.”
Steven handed Lee the plate of cookies and a glass of now warm milk. “Was it really that bad being at Garrett’s?”
“Oh, yeah. He was always yelling. Never hit me though, until that day we went to tell him I was a Guide. He was always drinking when he wasn’t working. I was happy when he went off on his trips. The only problem was there wasn’t anything to eat. Peanut butter and jelly only lasts so long.”
“Did you ever ask him for money before he left on his trips?”
Lee took a bite of his cookie. “Tried that once and he yelled at me for two solid hours. I never did that again.”
Steven blinked to clear the haze of tears from his eyes. “W…why didn’t you ever say anything? You could have come to our house, we always have food.”
Lee ducked his head. “I…I didn’t feel right. Especially since I was so mean to Jim and we really didn’t know each other that well. Sometimes though Daisy’s family would feed me.”
“That explains why you were so mean to Jim. You were half starved, but damn it Lee-there’s no crime in asking for help.”
“I’m not a charity case,” Lee replied defensively. “I do have my pride.”
“You’re twelve, Lee. Pride shouldn’t be happening until you’re at least eighteen. And it sure as hell doesn’t give you a full tummy.”
“I know.” Lee met Steven’s eyes. “I just didn’t know how to ask for help,” He whispered softly.
“Come here, Lee.”
The Guide put down his glass. Steven carefully gathered Lee into his arms. “I don’t have designs on your virtue, okay? I’ll leave that to Rafe.”
Lee nodded. “I know.” Tentatively wrapping his arms around Steven. “You are the Protector,” He said, placing his head trustingly against Steven’s shoulder.
“Yeah. Now I want you to listen to me and listen good. You are a part of our family now and you will want for nothing, ever. If you need anything, anything at all come to us and we’ll do our best to get it for you. Clear?”
“Clear. But what if it’s something you’re to afraid to ask. I’ve been told ‘No’ so many times I’ve gotten use to the word.”
Steven rubbed Lee’s back soothingly. “You’ll never know unless you ask.”
“There is one thing I want more than anything in the world, well next to my Sentinel.”
“What is it?”
Lee pulled away slightly. “I’m to chicken to ask right now. Can I have time to find my courage and then I’ll ask?”
Steven tucked a stray lock of dark blond hair behind Lee’s ear. “Yeah, that works.”
Lee sighed. “I wish I wasn’t such a chicken. I wish I was brave like you and Jim and Blair.”
“You are brave, Lee. You bonded a Sentinel and that has to be the scariest thing in the world to do.”
“It wasn’t too bad. I love my Sentinel and it feels great being a part of something important.”
Steven smiled at him. Guides had to be the cutest critters on the planet. They seemed to have a wide-eyed innocent look about them that made Steven want to place them in a plastic bubble where nothing could ever hurt them. Blair had it and so did Lee. Their innocence shown out of them like a beacon. Steven gentle stroked Lee’s face with his forefinger. Watching as Lee closed his blue eyes in pleasure. “You are important, Lee. Not just a part of something important. You. As a person.”
Lee opened his eyes. “Really?”
“You betcha’. I wouldn’t be saying it if it wasn’t true.”
“Oh.”
“I want you to listen to me. Okay?”
Lee nodded solemnly. “Okay?”
“You need anything, anything at all you come to me or Michael. If it’s to get you something to eat or to beat up your Sentinel because he’s being a pain in the buns, you let us know. We’ll take care of it.”
“Aren’t you afraid that all that attention is going to make me all conceited?”
Steven pulled Lee back into his arms. “Hasn’t happened yet. It won’t ever happen. You’re a Guide, its part of you genetic make-up. Blair won’t and you certainly won’t.”
Lee rested his head against Steven’s shoulder. “How can you be so sure?”
“I know everything. You should know that by now,” Steven replied, gently stroking Lee’s soft hair.
“Thank-you, Steven. For everything. Letting me be a part of your family, for caring about me,” Lee said softly. “It means a lot. More than you could ever know.”
Steven’s eyes filled with tears. “Not a problem. I love my Guides very much. I love my Sentinels too-just don’t tell them that?”
Lee chuckled softly. “Okay. This is nice,” he said, cuddling closer.
“Yeah, it is.”
“Is this a Protector/Guide sort of thing?”
“Yup.”
“Cool,” Lee replied, making himself comfortable against Steven.
“Yup, it is. Just don’t tell Michael.”
“Why, cause he’ll get jealous?”
“Heck, no. He’d want in on the hugging and he’s so big he’d squash a tiny thing like you,” Steven told him, rubbing his back comfortingly.
“I love you, Steven,” Lee said, timidly.
“I love you, too. Close your eyes for a little bit, get some more sleep. I’ve got you and I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“You sure it’s okay?”
“Hell, yeah. I’m the Protector. Let me do my job. You rest.”
“Okay, if you’re sure,” Lee replied, burying his face in Steven’s neck he closed his eyes.
Steven gently rocked Lee back and forth. Hearing a noise he looked up to find Blair standing next to them quietly watching.
“You heard?”
Blair nodded. “I hear.”
“He’s had some really rough times, hasn’t he?” Steven asked, sighing heavily.
“Yups.” A tiny hand came out to touch Lee’s back. Smiling when the other Guide made a small murmuring sound of pleasure.
“We need to take extra special care of him.”
Blair nodded again. “Yup. Take extra care.”
“Blair?”
“Yup?”
Steven pulled Lee closer. “Do you think Lee will be alright?”
“He be fine. Be good Guide. Be berry good person.”
Steven tilted his head to the side. “Rafe’s looking for Lee again,” he said, smiling.
“Yup.”
“He just won’t give up?”
Blair smiled. “Nope. Silly Sentinel.”
Steven chuckled. “That he is. Hey you wanna take more of a nap? There’s room for you up here too.”
Blair nodded happily. “Yuppers,” he replied, carefully climbing onto the chair, cuddling close to Steven and Lee. “Dis nice.”
“Yeah, it is.” Steven freed one of his arms to snuggle Blair closer to him. “Close your eyes baby brother. I’ll look after you. No one will ever hurt you or Lee. Not even your Sentinels. Not when I’m around. I’ll kick their scrawny buns if they try.”
Blair looked up giving him the sweetest smile he’d ever seen. “I knows.”
Steven blinked at the complete trust shining deep in Blair wide blue eyes. “Oh,” he said, more than a bit stunned by it.
“Yups,” Blair replied, rubbing his face against Steven’s arm affectionately.
Steven kissed the top of his curly head. “Silly Guide. Close your eyes. I’m watching over you.” He smiled when Blair did just that. He watched over them for a moment before he felt his eyes beginning to get heavily. He tried fighting it for a moment before he gave up, leaning his head back against the chair he closed his eyes.
***
DREAMS DO COME TRUE
“Steven, can you come into my study for a moment?”
He looked up from his sketch pad. “Sure Dad,” Steven said readily enough. “What’s up?”
“I went to the rehab center where Lee’s Mom is,” William replied, closing the door.
“What happened? She’s not going to do it is she? Oh, man-that just totally sucks.”
William smiled. “Easy, Son. Let me explain before you go off on a tangent.”
“Easier said than done. What’s a tangent?”
William watched his son begin to wear a path in the carpet just in front of his desk. “It means you’re going off into a direction you don’t need to be going.”
Steven looked up at William. “I am?”
“Yes, Son.”
“Sorry? What did you want to tell me?”
“Here, let’s sit.” William led Steven to the couch. “Okay, I talk to Lee’s mom. She’s a really nice lady, beautiful, funny and very charming.”
Steven’s eyes began twinkling. “Does Daniel know about your fascination with Lee’s Mom?”
William gently tweaked his nose. “Wise guy. Well anyway, I was talking with her and she was telling me she wasn’t in position to raise a twelve year old boy. She loves Lee very much, but isn’t capable of taking care of him the way he deserves. She takes full responsibility for her actions and wants desperately to get better. But her recovery is long term.”
“Where does that leave us?”
“It leaves us with another member of the family.”
Steven looked at William in stunned surprise. “Truly?”
William nodded. “Yes. She can’t raise Lee and she doesn’t want Garrett Kincaid raising him.” His eyes filled with tears. “She started crying when she found out that we wanted Lee to be part of our family. She was so afraid for him, but had no one else to rely on to take care of him. No family members, no one. Kincaid was it. She was telling me that she’d cry herself to sleep at night worrying about Lee. Hating the fact she had to leave him with Kincaid. Knowing her son wasn’t going to be well taken care of. But at least Lee had a roof over his head, a warm bed to sleep in and more or less regular meals.”
Steven moved closer to William. “That must have been really bad for her.”
“Yes, it was.”
“Do you think we could go and visit her sometime?”
“Don’t see why not. I think she’d like that.”
Steven looked up at William. “Did she sign the papers?” he asked, hopefully.
“Yes.”
Steven let out a whoop of joy. “Alright.”
William chuckled softly.
“Yes, it is. My lawyers are
taking care of the final things that need to be done. But as of
Steven gave his father a hug. “You’re the greatest, Dad.”
William returned it. “Why, thank you.”
“I can’t wait to see Lee’s face when he hears. Christmas is next week, can we wait and tell him then?”
William nodded. “I don’t see why not.”
“Cool.”
William smiled. “I hope Lee thinks so.”
“Oh, Dad, he’s going to love it,” Steven told him, kissing William happily on the nose.
***
Steven looked out into the room, making sure everything was alright before he went to bed.
It’d been a great Christmas. The best Christmas ever.
After Lee got his adoption paper, his feet hadn’t touched the ground. He’d happily shown everyone his papers.
It was as if suddenly Lee had been released from whatever restraints had been placed on him. Going up and kissing everyone with joyful abandonment.
Now Lee slept with his Sentinel curled around him protectively. Adoption papers held close to his chest, as if afraid it would all be taken away from him.
“Stevie?”
“Yeah?” Steven startled slightly, suddenly realizing that Lee was awake. “Are you okay?”
Lee gave him a smile that would have powered an entire city for a week. “”I’m great.”
“That’s good,” Steven replied, returning the smile.
“Thank you, Steven.”
“For what?”
“For letting me be a part of your family. I miss my Mom and I probably always will, but being a part of this family means the world to me. And I know you had a lot to do with it. I don’t know how you knew, but you did. You let me become ‘family’,” Lee said it with such awe it brought tears to Steven’s eyes. “I’ll be a good brother and son, I swear.”
“I know you will,” Steven replied, hoarsely.
“I love you, Stevie.”
“I love you too, Squirt.”
Lee gave him a tiny smile. “I get a nickname, too.”
Steven returned it. “You sure do.”
“Cool. That means I truly am family. Know what?”
“What, Squirt?”
“Christmas wishes do come true.”