Title:  Who Me???

Author:  Angelee

Fandom:  Stargate Atlantis

Pairing:  Ronon Dax/Radek Zelenka

Rating: Adult

Summary:  See title.


Beta: By my sister Anna.  All remaining errors are my own-with apologies.


Who Me???


“Why do you stare?  Do I have booger?”


Ronon stared up at the small scientist, looking down at him in extreme annoyance.  “What?”  he asked, taking a bite of his apple.


“You have been staring at me for many days.  And I would like to know reason for this, yes?”


“You’re as smart as McKay.”


Radek sighed as he thought about it.  “Yes, in many ways, this is true.  Is reason you stare.”


“No,” Ronon, replied, taking another bite of his apple.


“Why then?”


Ronon smiled at him.  The kind of smile that had never failed him and hopeful would not this time either.


Radek’s eyebrows arched over his glasses.  He looked at Ronon for a moment before turning to look around the half empty mess hall.  Before returning to the Runner.


“What does smile mean?”  he asked suspiciously. “Marines have not talked you into doing something evil to geeky scientist?”




Radek sighed.  “You are not a man of many words, Mr. Dax.”


“I’ve been told that.  Sit,” Dax dictated with his half eaten apple.


“Will you hurt this mild-mannered scientist, if I do so?”




Radek sat.  Hoping that he’d finally get the answers he sought.  The Runner had been staring at him for the better part of a week and it was beginning to truly unnerve him.  Every time he turned around Dax’s blue eyes were watching him speculatively.  It was slightly scary.  Well, truth be told, it was more than slightly scary.  It terrified him.  The Runner was a big, big man.


He fingered the salt shaker nervously.  “I sit.  What do you want with me?”  he asked, looking up to met Ronon’s eyes before darting away.


“I’m looking for a bed partner here in Atlantis.”


“What has this to do with me?  Would you like me to say which of the females on Atlantis would be willing to sleep with you?”




Radek’s eyebrows went back up.  “Men?  That would be most difficult.  But I suppose I could give you a name or two.”




Radek touched his forefinger to his mouth.  “Well, we do not have animals suited for your purpose.  And that is disgusting, I would like to comment.”


Ronon make a face.  “I’d say.  Yuck.  What do you take me for?”


Radek shrugged his slight shoulders. “No idea.  What do you want then?”


Ronon sighed forlornly.  “Sheppard is right.  Scientist are completely clueless when it comes to people.”




Ronon tossed his apple core on the table.  “I’ll just spit it out.”


Radek smiled at him.  “I hope you mean what you want with me and not the rest of the apple you have in your mouth,” he teased gently.


Ronon looked at him in surprise.  “You joke?”


“I can upon occasion.  I am scientist.  That does not mean I am lacking in sense of humor.”


Ronon raised a big hand.  “Don’t get upset.  It’s just…”


“You think I have no sense of fun.  I do.  Why last week I put do joke on Rodney.  He did not find it amusing and punish me with cold shower for two days.  But I do have sense of humor.”


“What did you do?”  Ronon asked curiously.


“I change his wallpaper to Pinky and the Brain and key computer to sing theme song every time he push space bar.”


Ronon frowned.  Not getting the humor in that at all.  But his sense of humor ran more to placing someone upside down on a balcony rail and threatening to drop them into the ocean below. 


“Well, I guess that would be funny,” he replied softly, not wanting to lose what little chance he had of getting the small scientist into his bed.


Radek smiled at him.  “Yes, very.  Fellow scientist in lab laughed for two days.”




They stared at each other for a long, uncomfortable moment before Radek coughed.  “Hmm, what is it that you want,” he finally asked.




Radek blinked.  “What?”




“Me?”  the Scientist squeaked.


Ronon nodded enthusiastically.  Sending his braids bouncing all over the place.  “Yeah.”


“W…why me?”


Ronon looked uncomfortable for a moment.  “I’m not a man of many words like you said before.”


“I know, but try.”


“Alright.” Ronon looked out into the mess hall.  It was almost completely empty, everyone having gone back to work.  “You’re cute and funny and really smart.”


“These things though nice do not make a bed partner.”


“They’re a start.”


Radek nodded.  “Yes.  Thank you for compliments.  They are very nice.”


Ronon smiled.  “You’re welcome.”


“Seriously why me?  You could have anyone on Atlantis that you wanted.”


Ronon shrugged his large shoulders.  “Don’t know.  One day I saw you sitting here in the mess hall laughing at something one of the other scientists was saying.  And I wanted to reach across and take your glasses off and kiss you.”


“Right there in front of everyone?”


Ronon nodded again.  “Yeah, I don’t care if anyone saw.”


Radek ran unsteady hands over his unruly hair.  Making it even more unruly than before.  “Oh, God.”


“Is that a problem?”  Ronon asked, watching the movement of Radek’s hand wishing it was within his right to be the one touching the scientist’s hair.


“No.  I don not care about such things.  I would be proud if someone such as youself loved me.”


Ronon sat straighter in his chair.  “Really?”  he asked hopefully.


“Yes.  I would be envy of scientific community here on Atlantis.”


“Does that mean…”


Radek held up his hand.  “Not quite.”


Ronon sat back down his shoulder slumping in defeat.  “Oh.”


“That is not to say that I am not interested.”


The Runner gave an unsteady groan.  “You have to quit doing that.”


“I am sorry, but there are a few things we need to clear.”




“Yes.  If I were to agree to have sex with you.  Not that I wouldn’t mind.  Sex for geeky scientist’s is few and far between.  Especially this geeky scientist.”


Ronon gave him a brilliant smile.  “You’d have no problem with that with me.”


Radek returned the smile shakily.  “I’m sure.”


“What are you’re conditions?”


“I do not know rules for relationship in Pegasus Galaxy.  But I do not share.  We enter a relationship it is exclusive until one or the other of us says ‘no more.’  I do not want to catch unknown Pegasus cooties.”  Smiling at Ronon indignant grunt.  “But for main reason is, I do not like to share.  I am smart scientist, but also quite vain it that regard.  If you are to be mine, you will be mine until one or the other of us say otherwise.”


“Does this go both ways?  You’ll be mine till one or the other of us says so?”




Ronon smiled.  “Cool.”


Radek returned it.  “I’m glad you think it is so.”


Ronon’s smile vanished.  “What do you mean by that?”


“Not many would take scientist to their bed.  Even if some of the smarter ones have groupies.”


“You have groupies?”  Ronon asked his brows drawing together in a fierce scowl.


“I have been known to a time or two in my career,” Radek admitted chuckling at the look on the Runner’s face as he inspected the people remaining in the mess hall as if searching out an enemy.  “But none since coming to this Galaxy.”


“I’m glad.  I wouldn’t want to tear them apart limb from limb for having dared look at you.”


Radek looked at Ronon, tilting his head to the side.  “You are jealous type?” he asked curiously.




Radek nodded.  “Ah.”


“A problem?”


“Not really.  I would only have eyes for you when not in the lab.  I would only go to you for sex.  No one else.”


“Cool,” Ronon said again.  When the scientist looked at him shyly as if wanting to ask him something.  “What?”


“Do you like to cuddle?  I like to cuddle,” he replied as if Ronon denying him the cuddling bit it would just about break his heart.


“I like cuddling,” Ronon replied gruffly.  It wasn’t after all a manly thing to admit.


It was worth it when Radek gave him a brilliant smile.  “I am glad you look like you would give good cuddles.”




“Yes.  You are big and it would be nice to loose oneself in those big arms of yours.  You know in a manly, gay sort of way?”


“I have no idea what you’re talking about.  Wanna go do the cuddling bit now.  Maybe have sex a couple of times.”


Radek nodded.  “Yes.  I am free.”


Ronon stood, stretching him body smiling as the small scientist watched in outright approval.  “You like?”


“Yes-oh yes.”  Radek replied a little breathless.


Ronon offered him his hand.  “Come then.”